The Complete Madblood Battle Anthem

This thing just gets funnier with time. I used to be able to make it all the way to, “LOOK, MA! TOP OF THE WORLD!” without cracking up, but now I’m losing it at, “There are medals on the shining chest of Madblood!”

As a character, Madblood is a little too easy to write; he’s just a straightforward overblown mad-scientist character, as opposed to the more subversive, non-stereotypical type of mad scientist represented by Helen (although I guess “perky blonde bespectacled madgirl” is now a trope in its own right, thanks to myself and certain Hugo-winning genius webcomickers I won’t name here). But he’s damn funny. And Jeffrey’s song captures his combination of arrogance and fussiness beautifully. Fine work, Jeffrey.

In other Madblood recording news, Peter Lovejoy recorded Madblood’s rant from the final story arc as a voice mail message, no doubt frightening and alienating many loved ones. You can listen to it here. Thanks, Peter!

In other news, Narbonic merchandise is now being sold through the new Couscous Collective online store. You can now buy Narbonic stuff, the brand-new Skin Horse Volume One, and minicomics by all the Couscous creators and save on shipping. Thanks very, very much to the redoubtable Pancha Diaz for building the store.

14 thoughts on “The Complete Madblood Battle Anthem

  1. I can get through it without cracking up as long as I don’t sing it aloud.

    If I do try to sing it aloud, I have a little bit of trouble getting past, “we are beaten – BY YOUR IRON DOGS OF WAR!” 

  2. Is there a tune? My subconscious wants to imagine it as sung by a Russian military male voice choir, but keeps throwing a division by zero error.

  3. This is the best Madblood anthem if only for the spoken section, which I assume was also Mr. Wells’s responsibility.

  4. (TUNE: “Springtime For Hitler”, by Mel Brooks)

    Jeffrey Wells was reading through his fa-vo-rite web comic!
    Then he saw a notice in the pages of Narbonic!
    Jeff sat down and then
    Took his ball-point pen,
    And wrote a song
    That’s rather long,
    But here we go again!

    Now … it’s … an …
    Anthem for Madblood the Conqueror!
    Song for the ruler of Earth!
    Madblood has built a robot horde!
    Soon he will be your Overlord!
    Anthem for Madblood the Conqueror!
    Handsome and brainy and buff!
    Anthem for Madblood the Conqueror!
    Come on robots, now show them your stuff!

    (Robots go into synchronized tap dance)
    Madblood is so mean and tough
    And that is why they call him Wolf!
    (more dance)
    Ev’ryone from Maine to Butte will
    Know resistance is quite futile!
    (Now picture 15000 robots in a Rockettes-style kick line)

    Now … it’s … an …
    Anthem for Madblood the Conqueror!
    Music for crushing his foes!
    He’ll conquer ev’ry con-ti-nent!
    He’s certain!  (Ninety-nine percent!)
    Anthem for Madblood the Conqueror!
    Child’s play, as each na-tion falls!
    Anthem for Madblood the Conqueror!
    And … he …
    Hopes soon that Helen,
    He’s hoping that Helen,
    He’s hoping … she’ll answer his calls!

  5. The first two people to get that Voice Mail message were my Grandmother and my Land Lord. The Land Lord thought it was pretty cool, my Grandmother was somewhat worried about me.

  6. I’ve had this song stuck in my head all week. You get funny looks when you burst out singing, “From the west to the east / from the greatest to the least / every creature, man and beast / bow befooooore him!” in public.

    Curse you, Jeffrey Channing Wells! Why must your mad science robot battle anthems be so catchy and awesome?

  7. Because that’s the way this tiger rolls, John Campbell.

    Leon, you assume correctly.  It was actually a huge relief and/or cop-out to have a spoken section; I got tired of rhyming after a while.  Which doesn’t mean I’m not going to go insane and attempt it again at some point, I’m just really bad at it.  I fear this anthem thing was a fluke, but a happy one.

  8. Jeffrey, you write most of the Skin Horse scripts and you did selected bits of Narbonic.  We ALL thank you for your words.

  9. So, uh, which rant is being referred to? Also, are there any backed up recordings of the aforementioned voicemail, or does it just not exist anymore?

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