Astute readers who have been through the complete, un-annotated Narbonic archives may notice that there are several missing Sundays. In most cases, this is because the original files got lost at some point; a lot of the early Sundays (and for that matter, a lot of the later Sundays) were thrown together at the last minute and weren’t always labeled clearly or filed away correctly. I’m going to restore as many of these as I can as I go through the Director’s Commentary.

However, there is one Sunday without a strip, and I believe we’ve reached that Sunday. Those who were reading Narbonic in early 2001 may recall that Sunday features from that period tended to update late in the afternoon, or even Sunday evening. And one Sunday there was no feature at all.

This is the only day in six and a half years of Narbonic that I ever missed an update, and my reason was utterly ignoble. It was, of course, because I had a brand-new boyfriend, I was spending every weekend in the city with him, and one Sunday I just blew off going home to Pacifica to draw a comic and update the site. “Screw the readers!” I chortled, rubbing my hands in a menacing way. “I’m going to go make out!”

And thus am I left with this permanent blot on my record. I had no shame. There probably would have been even more if I hadn’t moved ten blocks away from Andrew not long after this.

To compensate for the lack of 2001 Sunday material, it’s only fair that I present some new stuff today. Tomn Peng has composed two Madblood Battle Anthems, only four years late for the Madblood Battle Anthem contest I ran during “Professor Madblood and the Doppelganger Gambit.” As Tomn explains, “The imagination is reined in by no man.”

“The Army of the Madblood Bots”

*Set to “The Phantom of the Opera,” in case it wasn’t fully clear*

Bots:
We are unstoppable, our steel adva-nce
With every city felled, our might’s enha-nced
And though the roads be held, and highways mi-ned
The ar-my of the Madblood bots is here, to crush your kind.

Madblood:
Like fools you laughed at me; you mocked my na-me
And now you curse at me; ’tis all the sa-me
I care not what you do, for you shall fi-nd
The ar-my of the Madblood bots is here, to crush your kind

Bots:
They quake within their tanks
When we draw near
At us their weapons bear

Madblood:
‘Tis me they fear

Both:
My/his visage and their/our strength in one combi-ned
The ar-my of the Madblood bots is here, to crush your kind

(Background, chanting)

Free World:
They’re here, the army of the Madblood bots
Beware the army of the Madblood bots

Madblood:
In all your fantasies, you never knew
That pow’r and villainy could come for you
With my bots in your fa-ce, and sea behi-nd
The ar-my of the Madblood bots is here, to crush your kind

Free World:
Beware the army of the Madblood bots
*Muted sounds of gunfire in tune with the music*

Madblood:
Sing, my angel of conquest!

*Gunfire picks up, plinking noises heard, cannons, all still in tune*

Madblood:
Sing to me!

*Lasers, explosions, missile streaking by, still in tune*

Madblood:
Siiiiiing to me!

*Carnage reaches a crescendo. Sound of death ray powering up overtakes all other noises*

Madblood:
SIIIIIIIIIING TO MEEEEEE!

*Sound of death ray firing, with resulting earth-shattering explosion*

“As We Bots Go Marching In”

Oh, as we bots go marching in,
Oh, as we bots go marching in,
Oh, don’t you wish you were in our number?
Oh, as we bots go marching in.

Oh, as we laugh at your armies,
Oh, as we laugh at your armies,
Oh, don’t you wish you were in our number?
Oh, as we laugh at your armies.

Oh, as you flee and turn your tails,
Oh, as you flee and turn your tails,
Oh, don’t you wish you were in our number?
Oh, as you flee and turn your tails.

Oh, as we raise Lord Madblood’s flag,
Oh, as we raise Lord Madblood’s flag,
Oh, don?t you wish you were in our number?
Oh, as we raise Lord Madblood’s flag,

Oh, as we bots go marching in,
Oh, as we bots go marching in,
Oh, don’t you wish you were in our number?
Oh, as we bots go marching in.

Finally, Matt Blackwell sent me this illustration to commemorate the end of Narbonic. Matt is one of my old friends from the “Mystery Science Theater 3000” Usenet group.